When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
