I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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