I want to make a zoo with you.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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