Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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