Sponge bath it is.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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