I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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