True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
