Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize