And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
