All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
