I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
