I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
