somebody snuck up and got me drunk
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
