Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
