Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The power of my boobs compel you
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
