so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We are two peas in an std pod
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
