She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
