i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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