i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
