I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
