you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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