Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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