hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
