may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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