To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
