doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
