then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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