Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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