I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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