so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
