I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
