Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
