So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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