i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
