We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
