I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize