Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
