He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
