i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Moan for me like Helen Keller
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
