I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize