I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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