Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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