Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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