"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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