I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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