found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
