Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
