i don't like sucking hair
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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