my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
