I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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