even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
