There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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