I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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