I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
