i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
he just fucked me for my cheese.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
