Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
