The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
