How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
