Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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