If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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