She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
