she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
the day after is always just damage control
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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