I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
