I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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